If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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