i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
