We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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