hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
