FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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