I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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