hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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