I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
People in love make me want to vomit
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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