he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
