what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
