Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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