I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
