I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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