There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
