What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
