This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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