i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize