whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
