we have officially lost it.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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