RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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