We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize