OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
