Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
