But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
