she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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