My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
