I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
