He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
birth control should be required to get into college
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
