thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize