you guys were way drunker than both of me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
