I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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