Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
