I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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