Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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