grandma shit on top of the toilet
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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