IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
