my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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