I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's blow job season.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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