Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Please don't give away my fajitas
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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