its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
