New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
