We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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