**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
