My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
