I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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