I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
