She said her name was "party"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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