I'm lost and stupid without you.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
