Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
