just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think a kid would responsible me up
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
