Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
