What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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