She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
