You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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