The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
