The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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