Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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