it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
