Cold hands, warm shart.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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