You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
